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Canada’s socialized healthcare system overrun within hours from sudden widespread illness

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Canada’s socialized healthcare system overrun within hours from sudden widespread illness

Canada has been struck with a sudden mystery illness just hours after Donald Trump suggests US annexation.


Canada’s healthcare system is on the verge of collapse this morning, as a sudden illness has gripped the icy nation. Emergency rooms are overfilled and turning and turning away patients everywhere. Some healthcare facilities have closed entirely due to their own staff being subsumed by the illness. Public health officials believe the country is less than 24 hours away from running out of physicians. Current estimates indicate that whopping 67% of the population is currently sick.

The cause of the illness is unknown at this time. Symptoms include extreme nausea with projectile vomiting, severe headache, and diarrhea. Some patients have also experienced bleeding from the ears. The symptoms come on suddenly, without notice, and are instantly debilitating. But so far physicians have not been able to identify evidence of any infectious pathogen.

With such a rapidly progressing and widespread illness it has been impossible to ascertain a cause. So far the only commonality that has been identified among those affected is that they became sick after hearing about US President-elect Donald Trump’s claim that Canadians want to become part of the United States. In fact, several of the healthcare professionals who have become sick did so while taking patient histories, where they were hearing of Trump’s statements for the first time.

But public health officials also note some instances where hearing about the claims did not result in illness. When Gord Tremblay of Sault Ste. Marie Ontario was asked why she thinks she’s been unaffected despite her husband and three children all becoming sick this morning, she pointed to Trump’s 3:00 am rant as the reason. “That jackass wants Canada to become the 51st state? Over my dead body!” she said.


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